初中英语习作批改4

刘健

                                                        初中英语习作批改4

My vacation plan
习作原文
      This time, I am pretty happy ! Because I having a great  vacation. "We are want to do something different" my father said "I hear there BeiJing is beautiful and I know there are have many American".                                                   
     We are leaving the first week in June and staying until September.We are plan to have a very relaxing vacation.We are taking walk , going fishing and bike riding .We are planning to spend time in beautiful countryside.My family all like nature.  we all hope can forget  we problem.At night,We are renting video and sleeping lot ... A great vacation,I can't waii.


批 改 老 师
刘 健
评      分
87分
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优秀
批      改
     This time, I am pretty happy ! Because I having a great vacation. "We are want to do something different" my father said "I hear there BeiJing is beautiful and I know there are have many American".   
     We are leaving the first week in June and staying until September.We are plan to have a very relaxing vacation.We are taking walk , going fishing and bike riding .We are planning to spend time in beautiful countryside.My family all like nature. we all hope can forget we problem.At night,We are renting video and sleeping lot ... A great vacation,I can't waii.
批改:
1.Because I having a great vacation.应改为：Because I will have a great vacation.缺少谓语部分。
2."We are want to do something different" my father said应改为： "We want to do something diffeent," my father said.其中are去掉，属语法使用错误。注意标点符号的正确使用。
3."I hear there BeiJing is beautiful and I know there are have many American". 应改为："I hear that Beijing is beautiful and I know there are many Americans there."I hear 后面跟的是宾语从句，there是that之误。BeiJing的正确拼写形式是 Beijing。there are和 have 都表示“有”的意思，前者表示“某处有”；后者表示“所属关系的有”，不能连用。另外，American的复数形式应是Americans。
4.staying 前加are going to stay或will stay,表示一般将来时。
5.We are plan to have a very relaxing vacation.应改为：We plan to have a very relaxing vacation.错误同2。
6.We are taking walk , going fishing and bike riding .应改为：We are going to take a walk , go fishing and ride a bike.要用一般将来时。同时，要注意英语词组或短语的正确使用方法。
7.We are planning to spend time in beautiful countryside.应改为：We are going to spend  some time in the beautiful countryside.本句表示一般将来时，要用be going to结构。some time表示一段时间，beautiful countryside前应加上定冠词the，表示心目中具体所指。
8.we all hope can forget we problem.应改为：we all hope to forget our  trouble.作者在这里表达的意思可能是“我们都希望忘记我们的烦恼”。该句犯了汉语式英语错误。另外，we应是our之错误,注意人称代词的正确用法。
9.At night,We are renting video and sleeping lot ... 应改为：At night,we are going to rent video and sleeping-bag... 本句表示一般将来时，要用be going to结构。其中we 要小写，“睡袋”应是sleeping-bag。
10.A great vacation,I can't waii.应改为：It 's a great vacation! I can't help waiting. I can't help waiting.表示"我等不及了"。waii是wait之误。
参考例句(文)

1.Because I will have a great vacation.
2.We want to do something diffeent。
3.I hear that Beijing is beautiful and I know there are many Americans there.
4.We are going to take a walk , go fishing and ride a bike.

点      评
本文作者基本写出了对假期度假的计划和安排，基本结构还可以。但是，单词拼写、标点符号、时态、词组、从句等语法使用错误比较多。希望以后加强英语基本知识方面的练习，避免上述情况发生。

给 分 理 由
1. 单词拼写错误扣2分；
2. 标点符号错误扣1分；
3. 词组使用错误扣4分；
4.、时态、从句等语法使用错误6扣分。

何浩然

老师辛苦了！