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TA的每日心情![](source/plugin/dsu_paulsign/img/emot/fd.gif) | 奋斗 2017-9-8 16:50 |
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签到天数: 697 天 [LV.9]以坛为家II
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初中英语习作批改3
My family and I
批 改 老 师:刘健
习作原文
My Chinese name is Jin Yilian , and my English name is Ivan . I am a forteen-year-old girl. I am quite tall with short hair. I wear pink clothes and jeans with glasses. There are three people in my family, my mum , my dad and I. My favourite food is tomatoes and potatoes. My father favourite food is beef. My mother favourite food is beef ,too. My favourite sport is swimming. I like reading, piaging the piano, riding bike and so on.
评 分
95分
级 别
优秀
批 改
My Chinese name is Jin Yilian , and my English name is Ivan . I am a forteen-year-old girl. I am quite tall with short hair. I wear pink clothes and jeans with glasses. There are three people in my family, my mum , my dad and I. My favourite food is tomatoes and potatoes. My father favourite food is beef. My mother favourite food is beef ,too. My favourite sport is swimming. I like reading, piaging the piano, riding bike and so on.
批改:
1.forteen改为fouteen.单词拼写错误。
2.I wear pink clothes and jeans with glasses. 应改为:I wear a pink shirt and blue jeans with glasses.这里clothes最好改成具体的衣服,如:shirt, coat, uniform等。
3.There are three people in my family, my mum , my dad and I. 应改为:There are three people in my family. They are my mum , my dad and I. 注意标点符号和句子的衔接。
4.My father和 My mother 后都应该加's.
5.piaging the piano, riding bike 应改为:playing the piano, riding a bike注意单词正确拼写形式和避免汉语式英语出现。
参考例句(文)
1.I am a fourteen-year-old girl.
2.I wear a pink shirt and blue jeans with glasses.
3.There are three people in my family.
4.I like reading, playing the piano, riding a bike and so on.
点 评
这篇文章写得不错, 反映出小作者基本功比较扎实。能确切把握说明的对象。语言简明、贴切。介绍过程层次和条理清楚,是一篇好作文。最后加一句"I love my parents."或 "I love my family."更好。
给 分 理 由
该习作语言准确简练,条理清晰,结构完整。有部分单词拼写错误,标点符号使用错误,一个句子缺少主语和谓语,还有部分语法使用不当。总共扣5分。以后写作时,望能更细心些。祝学习进步。
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