初中英语习作批改3
初中英语习作批改3My family and I
批 改 老 师：刘健
习作原文
My Chinese name is Jin Yilian ,and my English name is Ivan . Iam a forteen-year-old girl. I am quite tall with short hair. I wear pink clothesand jeans with glasses. There are three people in my family, my mum ,my dad and I.My favourite food is tomatoes and potatoes.My father favourite food is beef. My mother favourite food is beef ,too.My favourite sport is swimming.Ilike reading,piaging the piano,riding bike and so on.
评 分
95分
级 别
优秀
批 改
My Chinese name is Jin Yilian , and my English name is Ivan . I am a forteen-year-old girl. I am quite tall with short hair. I wear pink clothes and jeans with glasses. There are three people in my family, my mum , my dad and I. My favourite food is tomatoes and potatoes. My father favourite food is beef. My mother favourite food is beef ,too. My favourite sport is swimming. I like reading, piaging the piano, riding bike and so on.
批改:
1.forteen改为fouteen.单词拼写错误。
2.I wear pink clothes and jeans with glasses. 应改为：I wear a pink shirt andblue jeans with glasses.这里clothes最好改成具体的衣服，如：shirt, coat, uniform等。
3.There are three people in my family, my mum , my dad and I. 应改为：There are three people in my family. Theyare my mum , my dad and I. 注意标点符号和句子的衔接。
4.My father和 My mother 后都应该加's.
5.piaging the piano, riding bike 应改为：playing the piano, riding a bike注意单词正确拼写形式和避免汉语式英语出现。
参考例句(文)
1.I am a fourteen-year-old girl.
2.I wear a pink shirt and blue jeans with glasses.
3.There are three people in my family.
4.I like reading, playing the piano, riding a bike and so on.
点 评
这篇文章写得不错， 反映出小作者基本功比较扎实。能确切把握说明的对象。语言简明、贴切。介绍过程层次和条理清楚，是一篇好作文。最后加一句"I love my parents."或 "I love my family."更好。
给 分 理 由
该习作语言准确简练，条理清晰，结构完整。有部分单词拼写错误，标点符号使用错误，一个句子缺少主语和谓语，还有部分语法使用不当。总共扣5分。以后写作时，望能更细心些。祝学习进步。
楼主这么认真一定是个不错的老师
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