初中学生英语习作批改

刘健

                                                                      初中学生英语习作批改
习作原文

Ladies and Gentleman,     

          Welcome to our hotel! Our hotel is very big. We have one hundred and eighty rooms, and we have three restaurants for twenty-four hours. And our glasses is too big. We have many beautiful and interesting flowers. If you like swimming. Wealso have a big swimming pool. If you like shopping, our shops are very cheap and great. And our hotel near the downtown, at 120 Hongqi Road. Please call us at 0481-8405886. And you can send faxes to us at 0481-8405486. And we will try our best to help you.

批 改 老 师：刘健

评      分：81分
级      别：优良
批      改：
Ladies and Gentleman,

       Welcome to our hotel! Our hotel is very big. We have one hundred and eighty rooms, and we have three restaurants for twenty-four hours. And our glasses is too big. We have many beautiful and interesting flowers. If you like swimming. Wealso have a big swimming pool. Ifyou like shopping, our shops are very cheap and great. And our hotelnear the downtown, at 120 Hongqi Road. Please call us at 0481-8405886. And you can send faxes to us at 0481-8405486. And we will try our best to help you.
批改:
1.这是篇发言稿，主要介绍旅馆的实施和服务项目。体裁是应用文，应注意使用应用文的格式。称呼语，正式场合用Ladies and Gentlemen。开头还有提醒听众的开场白，如“Attention, please.”或“May I have yor attention.please?”等。
2.We have one hundred and eighty rooms, and we have three restaurants for twenty-four hours.应改为: There are one hundred and eighty rooms and  three restaurants for twenty-four hours in it.这里用There be结构比较合适些。
3.And our glasses is too big. 根据下一句意思，glasses 应改为garden。
4.We have many beautiful and interesting flowers.应改为: There are many beautiful and interesting flowers in it. 这里用There be结构比较合适些。
5.If you like swimming. Wealso have a big swimming pool. 应改为: We also have a big swimming pool. If you like swimming, you can swim in it.注意此句含有条件状语从句，运用时注意复合句的正确使用，要有逻辑性。
6.Ifyou like shopping, our shops are very cheap and great.应改为: If you like shopping, the goods in our shop are very cheap and beautiful.应该是商店的商品物美价廉。
7.应在结尾加上下面几句：I hope you'll have a good time. 另起一行：That's all. Thank you.注意应用文的格式，以示礼貌，文章才能显得完整。
8.发言稿也可以给题目，但是不能把Ladies and Gentleman当作题目，可改为：Welcome to our hotel!
9.near 前加is。

参考例句(文)
1.May I have yor attention.please?
2.There are one hundred and eighty rooms and three restaurants for twenty-four hours in it.
3.We also have a big swimming pool. If you like swimming, you can swim in it.
4.I hope you'll have a good time.
5.That's all. Thank you.

点      评：
1. 出现单词拼写错误和主谓一致所有错误；
2. 应用文格式没有恰当和有效地使用；
3. 复合句使用不完整；
4. 写作时如果再仔细推敲，力求完美，本篇不失为一篇好文章。希望下次努力。

给 分 理 由：
1. 单词拼写错误和主谓一致所有错误，扣5分；

2. 应用文格式没有恰当和有效的使用，扣8分；

3. 复合句使用不完整，扣6分。
（内容交流，欢迎指导）

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